it wasn't lemon gatorade
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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