Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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