I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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