I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
