she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
