God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
