he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
