Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
