I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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