called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
