how can u be prego again
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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