Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Terrible idea I love it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
