he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
