Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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