I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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