My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
