East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
