Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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