So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
