So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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