Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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