I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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