Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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