I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"it" just moved
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
