I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
