try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dicks are not precious.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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