how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Are we still banned from the library?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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