Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
