We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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