See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize