have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
