i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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