My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
