yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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