I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
