I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
