Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
