Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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