At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can vaginas get frostbite?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
