I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
