Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
