I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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