I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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