and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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