Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
