Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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