Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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