we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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