i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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