Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
