I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
