Welp...herpes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
