some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
