You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
that may or may not have been my penis.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
