This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
A+ Viking dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
